When considering my faith journey, I’m reminded of the words of Martin Luther, "here I stand, I cannot do otherwise."

God’s miraculous power has transformed me from an arrogant, self-centered, pseudo-intellectual, pleasure seeker, to a penitent, more humble, less judgmental, God-focused husband. In Christ all are new again, and that’s how I feel – like a new person in a new life. I have no fear of worldly things, little concern or aggravation, and a deep, profound and constant sense of God’s love.

 I’m called to share the transforming power of Christ, so that others can experience what I’ve experienced. As I was struggling with the discernment process, I grappled with the prospect of quitting my job of eight years, my career of 13 years, and moving away into the uncertainty of seminary and the ministry.

As I read, prayed, and sought the council of others, I was heartened and more than a little surprised to see myself through the eyes of others, as old friends described the changes they’ve seen in me and new friends saw me as a possible leader in the faith.

As I came to grips with the transformation that Christ has made in my life, and how those changes have manifested themselves in the eyes of others, I realized my life has become an example of Paul’s admonishment to "be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you might prove what is that good, and acceptable and perfect will of God."

I’ve realized that since I came to Christ almost exactly four years ago, and was baptized 13 months ago, I’ve reached the point where, like Luther, all I can say is, "here I stand, I cannot do otherwise, God help me. Amen."

I was born into the Methodist church, baptized as an infant, and moved out of the church in my childhood. Sometime around age 12 or 13, I was "saved" during a revival by the Baptist preacher who lived next door. I came forward because of peer pressure and friendship for the neighbors and didn’t attend church again. God’s presence wasn’t felt in our house as a child, and I didn’t leave the revival with a true sense of Christ in my heart.

As an adult, I’d occasionally attend Easter Sunday services but never attended during the Christmas season or any other time of the year.

My first wife and I were married by a justice of the peace in a civil ceremony outside, rather than in a church. Like Thomas Jefferson, I read the ‘red’ parts of the Bible, and intellectually recognized Jesus as important, but not the transforming Son of God. I would read the words, but I didn’t understand or feel the spirit.

In September, 2001, I had what the Buddhists call a satori, an awakening, a sudden flash of insight and understanding. Early one morning I instantly recognized God’s place as the creator of the Universe, Jesus Christ’s place in God, and my place in Christ. For the next few years I pursued worldly pleasures and excesses during the week and Christ on Sundays, with the occasional Bible reading in the evenings. Slowly, I grew tired of the ways of the flesh, quit smoking for the last time, and prayed that God would help me find a woman of faith with whom I could spend my life.

My wife and I met on the internet, and she has been a profound influence on the development of my faith. Because she has significantly different political, social and theological views, God has blessed us with each other so that we can always remember that there are others in the world who think differently than ourselves.

While we were dating we would alternate between a Baptist church she liked and the Methodist church I’d been attending. After a few heated disagreements – I refused to attend the Baptist church and she refused to attend the Methodist church – we ended up at Bethany Christian Church one May morning in 2004. We had never experienced a more welcoming and loving congregation, and I especially appreciated the open and common ground for people from different backgrounds and denominations.

I took communion for the first time at Bethany, and finally found a church environment that challenged and encouraged my spiritual growth and development. Coupled with my wife’s spirituality, and my in-depth study of Scripture and other early Christian writings, my relationship with Christ has grown deeper, and deeper.

My baptism, three months later, was like an electric charge in the baptismal pool. Rev. Buddy Westbrook said afterwards that it was the first time in his long career he’d head the congregation applaud after a baptism. God was in that church, in the baptistery, and in me that day.

Now that I have a relationship with Christ, I’m able to look back at my life and my many mistakes and see where God protected and accompanied me, without my even knowing it.

I prayed and looked for a woman who would help me be the man God intended me to be, and He brought us together. I prayed for peace and equanimity in my heart and God has blessed me more deeply than I would have ever imagined possible. Daily I marvel at God’s magnificent power as it’s manifested in my life beyond my ability to articulate.

Each time I have been troubled, afraid, or uncertain and relied on Christ for strength and support, He has been there. Now, as my wife and I metaphorically look to sell everything, give up our worldly careers and lives and dedicate our lives to spreading Christ’s good news, we’re making the biggest leap of faith yet.

Through Christ, all things are new again, and I’m a testament to that. With Christ, all things are possible, and that’s where we’re putting our faith in the months and years to come.

My wife and I have reached the point in our spiritual development where we must surrender completely to God’s will in our lives. Seminary is the next step in my theological development. After that, ordination, and whatever God wants for us – a church ministry, evangelistic outreach utilizing my professional speaking experience, campus, hospital or even prison ministry – we will be blank tablets upon which God will write His plan for us.

"Here I stand, I cannot do otherwise, God help me. Amen."